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Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Letting Go.....of the Baby

Letting go has never been one of my talents.  I have massive attachment issues, I hate change and it takes me awhile to warm up to new people and to let go of  old ones.  One thing homeschooling has taught ME is that some new people are awesome and it's okay to get outside your comfort circle from time to time (not often let's not be extreme).  That being said letting go makes me sad (even on a good day), and this week has been a hard one.

This is my baby.....

Love that adorable little face...I should add that my baby doesn't look like this anymore.

He looks like this........
That little face is still adorable!!

Now yes I know all our kiddos are our babies regardless of their age but this is my last baby.  I feel like he should still be the cuddly little newborn in the first pictures, instead I have a cuddly but loud almost preschooler who says no and throw toys at his brothers;-)  I may still want him to be a baby but he's not and I am not being very accepting of that.  It is very hard for me to lose the mentality of "he's just a baby, he doesn't know any better, ignore his rottenness."  He in fact does know better but he's just so darn cute!!!  He will be four in August and this is the longest in almost seven years that I have went without having a "baby" in the house.  For the record my Husband and I don't have any plans to change that but I can still miss it right?  To say that our wonderful family keeps us hopping would be an understatement.  I would be crazy to even consider throwing a newborn into the mix but man oh man do I miss having a newborn around. Three out of our four boys are still content to let me pet and love on them a pretty good chunk of the time but each day I watch them grow and realize they need me for less and less.  My 1st grader is making his own bowls of cereal and drinks, the other morning he even made his brothers a bowl.  My Kindergartner is putting his own dishes in the sink without me asking, and my little man above well he has a ball getting dressed all by himself.  My oldest (12) he still seems to need me for quite a bit but that's just how first born children roll I think;-)  

This week (and many weeks after) I will work on not being sad each time the "baby" does something more grown up then I think he should.  I could say I will work on my "letting go" issues in general but I really don't expect them to improve any time soon.......

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