Throwing in the Towel

We homeschool and most days we love it. By we I mean the kids and myself and my Husband...hell even the dogs. But still there are those days when “we” think gee I bet public school would be pretty nice. The kids think and voice it on days when they feel like I give them too much work, I tell them at public school they would have twice as much but they think that is just impossible. I think it on nights like this; nights where it took me forever to get them to bed. And yes I was the inconsistent parent tonight...instead of getting up and dealing with them not listening I sat on the couch and yelled in the direction of their bedroom. Horrible parenting but I am tired and not feeling great...it happens. Once they were all finally in bed and the house was finally quiet I realized the very last thing I want to do tomorrow morning when I wake up is school. I don't even want to do it a little bit. I think about how much easier it would be on me to put them on that bus (ironic because our public schools are closed tomorrow due to the “snowstorm”) and then enjoy the rest of my day in peace just napping with the baby. Now anyone that knows me knows that won't happen. I will wake up in the morning suck it up and do school (I might stomp my feet a bit and whine) but it will get done.

I guess I am writing this to let everyone know that it is okay to have those days. Homeschooling is not easy. I love it, I think it is fun and rewarding...BUT is is never easy. I love having my kids with me all the time but man they are with me ALL the time. Sometimes that just becomes mentally draining. They don't try to be exhausting...that just comes naturally to kids. They don't mean to make us want to hide in a room, cry in the shower, or cuss under our breath...kids are kids. At the end of the day I adore mine and will continue to homeschool them and have them with me just about all the time. But I will also have nights like this where just for a few minutes I fantasize about my peaceful day where they are all of living it up at school and daycare, while I nap and drink margaritas in my pajamas;-)

Sometimes on nights like this I sit and think about how I got where I am today. I LOVE my life, I LOVE my kids and I LOVE my Husband but I am definitely not where I thought I would be 15 years ago. I am probably not where anyone who knew me 15 years ago thought I would be either but here I am nonetheless. On nights like these I realize that I am exactly where I am supposed to be because even on the not so perfect nights I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

If something is important to you like homeschooling is to our family you stick to it. Even when we want to throw in the towel we don't throw in the towel thanks to five extraordinary reasons we have pictured down below;-)  Speaking of throwing in the towel tomorrow we start our unit study on our upcoming presidential election. That is enough to make anyone want to throw in the towel;-)