Baby Number 5...It Is A Boy....AND I DIDN'T CRY

So Tuesday was the big day I went to confirm that Baby #5 was a girl just like everyone was telling me.  Even though I knew it was a boy;-)  And guess what its a boy!! A perfect, little, healthy boy.  Now when we found our #4 was a boy  I didn't handle it very well.  Actually I had a complete sobbing, mental breakdown in the middle of the exam room so I can see why people were concerned as I shared the news this time.  But I wasn't disappointed......a boy just makes sense.  That is what my life consists of and I am okay with that.  I am surrounded by boys from my husband to my kids to my dogs.  So just to put everyone's mind to ease we are happily awaiting the arrival of our new baby boy and we can't wait to meet him!!:-) 

The Battle of the Sexes....Will We Buy Pink or Blue???

In two weeks we find out if our newest addition will be a boy or a girl.  Now this is the part where I tell you that we already have four boys.  And this is the part where all the well-meaning people with girls love telling me that boys are easier than girls…now most of these people only have girls but…..

I love my boys…I mean really, really love them.  As a person you love your family and your friends but I am convinced that once you become a parent you discover a whole new kind of love.  These handsome boys, these adorable, sweet little pains in my ass are the loves of my life.  Do I want to lock them in the basement sometimes??  Absolutely!! But go ahead let me hear you say they are anything less than perfect!! It will be you taking a trip to the basement.  You will do anything to protect your child, you will spend countless hours thinking of ways to keep them safe and then countless years realizing it doesn’t matter what you do they are going to get hurt.

As our ultrasound appointment draws nearer I am finding me more and more conflicted.  I am convinced it is a boy; a small part of me thinks this is just a defense mechanism.  My pregnancy hormones about caused me to be committed when I found out the fourth bundle of joy was coming out with yet another penis.  I have FOUR boys and my Husband I mean it is like the penis house of horrors most days around here.  Most of my family is convinced it is a girl.  I’m not sure if they really think that or are just hoping against hope it’s true for fear of a repeat hormone appearance.  Still there is a small part of me that thinks (way back in the back of my head) that maybe this time it will be a girl. THEN…..

That same small part goes insane with fear and thinks A GIRL???? In this house!!! OMG what the hell I am supposed to do with a girl???  How will a girl survive in this enormous puddle of testosterone?  I am going to have to invent some kind of bullet proof playpen to keep her in just to keep her alive.  You think I’m joking but four boys in one house is no joke.  My now four year old blacked my eye with a rubber duck when he was two.  My seven year old is obsessed with horses, he has fell or been bucked off a horse at least five times in his short life.  They have gashed their side falling off slides, had rocks embedded in their head from bike crashes, fell (climbed) out of cribs it should have been impossible to get out of, fell backwards off the trampoline, had to be rescued from the pool more than once, dislocated their wrist pitching a fit in the Lego Lodge at our local zoo, cut their legs on glass, and had baseballs bounced off their face.  Those are just the disasters that I can think of off the top of my head, oh wait I can’t forget the oldest boy who is thirteen going on 20 and has no idea how strong he is.  He walks through the house thinking he is just tapping everyone playfully but in fact he is making me want to deck him because he hurts!!!  But still they have all four survived... I mean boys are tough right?? I hate to be sexist but aren’t girls supposed to be fragile??? Does it sound like something fragile could survive all of ^^^^^^^^^THAT??? The thought is terrifying!!!   So I finish my panic attack and comfort myself by saying it is probably another boy.  Now sure this means that all the cute purple clothes I keep pinning on Pinterest won’t ever be bought, I will never get to pick out a prom dress, or say that is my daughter she is just like me.  But this also means I won’t have to spend the next several years trying to keep this delicate little girl alive and not traumatized from the penis house of horrors.

In the end I think this is a huge case of damned if you do…damned if you don’t.  Who knows if we will be buying pink or blue but I can honestly say that thanks to modern day medication I will be able to handle either option like a champ;-)

DISCLAIMER**** We don’t have a basement!!

Bathroom...What It Means For Men vs. What It Means For Women

As I scroll through social media I notice a growing trend.  Moms talking about the fact that their bathroom time is continuously interrupted.  The other trend is you don't ever hear Dad's complaining about this.  When men go to the bathroom and shut the door everyone leaves them alone unless there is an emergency.....when women go to the bathroom and shut the door the polar opposite happens.  I used to think it was just my house but now I know that I am not alone.  It is an annoying situation across the World. 

See in our house when Dad goes to the bathroom whether it is to pee, do the dreaded number 2 or take a shower he gets to do these things in peace.  The kids will come in and ask "Mom where is Dad?"  I say He's in the bathroom and they turn around and walk away to wait.  They will allow him unlimited time to finish whatever it is he is doing.  If I'm in the bathroom doing the same I will hear them ask and be answered then just continue on their way to my bathroom door.  I have been interrupted in all stages of bathroom duties, from having a kid jerk back the shower curtain to ask me a question about Lego's, to having one demand a peanut butter and jelly sandwich whiles I'm sitting on the so called toilet and not being able to convince them that they won't starve if they will just let me finish.  My personal favorite is the time the whole house (including my Husband) gathered outside the door to sit on and in front of the washer to carry on a conversation while I was in the tub.  That night I was simply happy they left the door shut.

The point here is men will never know just how lucky they are when it comes to bathroom privacy.  They will never know the joy of seeing little hands peeking under the closed door because they just miss you so much, or the frustration of trying to shower while answering  numerous pointless questions with an open shower curtain letting in a freezing draft, or my favorite the humiliation of trying to hold the door shut and yelling "just a sec" while trying to finish that "female" thing.

For men the bathroom is an escape, a throne if you may...for women it is a small torture chamber where they are constantly running a race against time and toddlers;-)  Don't get me wrong on most days most of us Moms find it cute and maybe even a little flattering but on other days it makes us want a drink of tequila!!!

The Day My Husband Made the Biggest Mistake of Our Marriage....Horror Stories From Pregnancy

So for those that haven't heard my Husband is about as close to perfect as possible.  He really is amazing, he works so much, he helps me so much with the kids, etc.  I am nowhere near perfect and on my best day I am very complicated and exhausting to deal with.  This morning well this morning he made a huge mistake.  I've only been really mad at him one time during our marriage......so let's call that his biggest mistake and we will downgrade today to the second biggest mistake;-) 

This morning we overslept, which is a common occurrence for us lately.  Between him working his tail off on third shift and me well you know growing a human waking up hasn't been easy.  So this meant Dalton missed the bus and would have to delivered to school.  Upon delivery I texted my lovely Husband and ask him to grab biscuits for breakfast.  I told him I didn't want sausage but Burger King would be good and I wanted a bacon, egg and cheese crossaint and a bowl of soft serve ice cream.  He said he was going to McDonalds and I said okay no ice cream just a chicken biscuit.  Now sure at this point I could of said I still want you to go to Burger King for ice cream (they have really good ice cream) but I didn't. 

Imagine my shock when he came home with just a chicken biscuit and no ice cream!! I'm pregnant, it's 8:00 a.m. and the second biggest mistake my Husband has made is coming in the door without MY ICE CREAM!! I mean this is kid number four for him has he not learned by now?!?!?!  Now I realize this is an irrational reason to be agitated but boy was I agitated.  I handled it maturely though, I didn't scream and act like a crazy lady ( if you know me you know how hard that was for me).  Instead I sat in silence and pouted dramatically while I picked apart my chicken biscuit.  I mean he is laughing at me pouting but he had no idea his pregnant wife wanted to stab him with a spoon over ice cream!! Some of you may think I'm crazy but you have to understand...the ice cream from Burger King is really good!!!!! In the end he said we would stop on the way to our Doctors appointment at noon but hello that is like two hours away, I guess I'll take it and try to move on.

Our marriage survived his first big mistake I guess we can survive his second one;-)  Although love his heart in the true style of a woman I will probably still be bitching about the forgotten ice cream years down the road!!